What did I miss?
by Sky Dragon155
Summary: Skulduggery has been left in the other world with the faceless ones for seven years.Finally rescued, Skulduggery comes back to a world he thought he knew. Things have changed and Valkarie Cain is not the girl he once new.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Skulduggery Pleasant , detective, fugitive and self proclaimed genius, darted round the corner and slid to the ground panting. This had become a daily routine for the detective. The faceless one stopped just around the corner wondering where its prey had gone. Just as he was preparing to turn back round the corner and fight once more, a girl materialized beside him out of nowhere.

"Run!" She yelled.

Skulduggery had learnt not to question the figments of his imagination, that where his only company. He sprinted of down the deserted street only looking back in time to see the building at the end of the street explode as the cause of some well displaced air.

'Well that's new,' thought Skulduggery, 'none of my fantasies have been able to do that.'

The girl had somehow caught up with him as he rounded the corner.

"Follow me." she said and tugged his hand to make him follow. Skulduggery didn't ask questions. He followed her down the winding streets until he, who had been her for God knows how long, was hopelessly lost.

They ran half way down what felt like the millionth street and stopped. The skeleton heaved heavily for a few moments and then straightened up to look at the girl. She was about twenty one but because of her obvious magic connection she was probably older. She had dark eyes framed by dark brown locks. She looked strangely familiar.

"Any second now would be nice," she muttered to her self.

He was about to ask what she was talking about but a bright light cut him off. He blindly stared into the light. A hand pulled Skulduggery towards the light.

"What the-." He started to think but then the light consumed him.

AN/ Please review! =D.

I promise to write more if I get 5 reviews.

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	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all those who reviewed! If I get 7 reviews I will update!=D

Chapter 2- I'm back!

Previously

_"What the-." He started to think but then the light consumed him._

Skulduggery stumbled and he hit the hard earth of the farmyard. He looked around him. He was back on earth_._ How had he come get here? He looked over to his right and saw Fletcher with _his__head_**!** Ahh how he had missed it. The higher cheekbones, the smiling mouth, the straight-.

Skulduggery was cut out of his silent reminiscing when some one yelled at him.

"**Move it bone bag!"**

He looked ahead and saw to his great surprise China, Tanith, a man he kind of recognised with a baldhead, Kenspeckle, the girl, a whole load of Cleavers and _Solomon Wreath? _What was he doing here?

Skulduggery jogged over to the group.

"Nice to have you back Skul!" said the bald-headed man.

"Yeah ditto!"

"So nice to see you Skulduggery," said China flashing one of her famous smiles.

" How touching, but I cant say I'm particularly pleased to see you," drawled Wreath, " But my lady said you would be useful."

"He has the information we need and don't call me your lady. You know how I- incoming! Fletcher close it already!"

They all looked back towards the portal. The hand of the faceless one was groping around the edge trying to pull itself thought.

"Don't!" the girl yelled as the cleavers ran forwards to attack the enemy.

"

Why did he make me bring cleavers? I knew this would happen!" said the girl smacking her for head. The cleaver had now all disappeared through the portal and the Faceless one had pulled its self out. The portal was closing behind it.

The girl sighed and rolled up her sleeves.

"

Stand back," she called and looked directly at the faceless one. She wasn't burning up noticed Skulduggery. The girl raised her hands and directed them at the faceless one. Purple and green lightning erupted between them. There was a blinding flash and the faceless one was turn to ash. The portal closed.

" Well," she said, " that was fun!" Every one stared at her. "What?" They still stared.

"You just killed a god with your bare hand!" pointed out Tanith.

"Yeah so?"

"You have more strength than Mr Bliss!"

"Don't you mean had?" asked Skulduggery, "He died didn't he?"

" No I reincarnated him ages ago." Said the girl waving a hand dismissively.

Skulduggery's jaw hit the floor. Literally.

"Right then. I will see you three," she indicated to Tanith, Baldy and Skulduggery, "later. I trust you remember how to get to Gordon's Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery nodded.

" Your going into work after that?" asked Tanith incredulously.

"Yeah. See you tonight guys. Bye everyone!"

She ran towards one of the two motorbikes (the other being Tanith) parked in the lee of a big oak. Skulduggery watched a Valkyrie Cain rode of down the lane.

AN/ What do you think? Seven reviews and Ill update!=D

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	3. Chapter 3

Sorry I haven't written for a while but I've had loads of schoolwork and stuff. Umm… I said I would update if I had seven reviews and I'm sorry but these things happen, but thank you to everyone who did review even when there was more than seven. Anyhow… some answers|:

Cold Shadows At Night= I am girl.

And that about sums it up.  
Oh and a huge thank you to my fantabulous Beta: BROOK!=D

Chapter 2- Ambush?

Valkyrie sneezed. It was wet. She leapt of her motorcycle and lent it against the wall. The rain poured down relentlessly as she stalked up to the fire exit of the old wax works. She kicked open the door and summoned a green flame. In the dim light of the fire, she crept through the many corridors towards the secret entrance to the Sanctuary. She past many up turned and disfigured models scattered on the floor. She bent down and dipped her finger in a deep red puddle on the floor. She licked it, and it tasted horrible. She followed the trail of offending red liquid and found a body. The security guard lay face down on the ground. She reached for his hand. It was as if it had just come out of a freezer. He wasn't alive.

As Valkyrie reached the entrance to the Sanctuary she was greeted with the sight of the panel that should have covered the entrance blown open and dripping with the offensive liquid. She turned to the nearest waxwork, a copy of the character Homer Simpson. God knows what he was doing in a wax works let alone guarding and entrance to and important organization. But she needed answers.  
"What happened here?" She barked. He just groaned.  
"Who did this?" Still no reply.  
"Can I at least go in?"  
"Feel free…doah my head!"  
Stealthily she crept along the corridor down slowly going down, into the bowls of the museum. The stopped at the lobby. Bodies of Cleavers littered the floor. One caught her eye. It was Steve. They had gotten along so well and now someone was using his body as a decoration.  
She checked for magical signatures in the building. Several showed up. Mostly were in the holding cells, so whoever had done this wasn't trying to release prisoners. A lot more were in the medical bay so there were some survivors. Bu the most and most powerful where in…

"Theyre in MY OFFICE!" Shrieked Valkyrie, and she hared of down the corridor. no one, and I mean no one went in her office so whoever was in there now would pay, friend and foe alike!

As she reached her office she slowed down and gathered the spirits of death in her fist, the necromancer ring shining brightly on her finger. Her hand closed on the door handle and pushed…

I will update when I get another 15 reviews.  
Go on review!  
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	4. Chapter 4

AN/ sorry I haven't updated in a while but I've had loads of Homework and have had writers block,(which isn't fun). If anyone has any suggestion please send a PM.

Chapter _3-__ Expect the unexpected but also the expected_

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_Her hand closed on the door handle and pushed…_

She charged headlong into the room and swung a punch at the person sitting behind her desk. She caught his shirt in one hand and drew back her fist and felt the presence of darkness close around it. She looked at her victim searching for a weak spot to strike only to find that she had just punched the Grand mage in the jaw.

"ahhh…

"Hello to you Valkyrie," coughed Bliss spitting out a tooth that she had managed to knock out.

Seeing there was no immediate threat in here she let go of his shirt but kept the shadows curled round her fist.

"What is it Bliss?" she asked slightly peeved that it was only the grand mage that she hit and not the intruder.

"Aren't you going to apologize for hitting the Grand Mage?"

"No."

Bliss nodded.

"So what's with the decoration upstairs?"

"So you figured it out I see?" Smirked Bliss, "I was aware of you great detective skills but I don't see how you worked out it was I that orchestrated this."

"It was quite simple really," She said leaning her back against one of the many book shelves lining the walls, "aside from the murder of all the remaining wax works to decorate you little crime scene the wax version of the security guard was rather crude, the lack of any magical traces told me it obviously was never alive in the first place. Did you keep it in a freeze or something?"

"Yes, we keep it I the cryogenic lab as a test subject. We actually thought it was rather realistic," said Bliss leaning back in his chair.

"His nose melted when you left it on the floor."

"ahhh…"

"It obviously doesn't do well at room temperature."

"Noted, so what else gave it away?"

"Your choice of fake blood." She made a face.

"Was it too obvious?"

"Yes and it tasted disgusting! What was with using ketchup anyway? I thought you were above amateurs?"

"Expect the unexpected but also the expected, Valkyrie." Intoned Bliss wisely.

Val promptly punched him in the face again.

"What was that for?" asked Bliss clutching face.

She shrugged, "You sounded like an idiot."

Bliss raised and eyebrow.

"Back to the conversation in hand. I knew it was you as no-one apart from me or you can break into this office without setting off one of the death traps."

"Should the sanctuary or I be aware that you have installed _death traps _in your office?"

"No, not really." She said fiddling with her nails.

"oh, ok"

"You really need to work on you breaking and entering skills. On the way over I was sneezing so many times I didn't know if someone was in my office or I was catching a cold."

"So how do you know that I wasn't hiding in your office from some invading dark force."

"You left the door unlocked."

"ahhh…"

"Is that becoming your catch phrase or something because you've been saying that a lot today."

* * *

Back at the farm a second round of greetings had taken place. Skullduggery had punched Fletcher (who was still lying unconscious on the lawn), high fived Tanith, Shook hands with the bald guy who turned out to be Ghastly ("loving the new hair cut" he commented), got told of by Kenspeckle for knocking out Fletcher and been ignored by Wreath( he didn't want to talk to him anyway).

It was good to be home.

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Please review! I will most probably update it I have seven reviews. Please!=D

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Go on review!


	5. Rewrite Please read

**Rewrite**

Yeah, I know I haven't updated in like a year, but I've just been sooo busy I just haven't had time to do anything. So anyways looking back at this I have decided to write because rereading this now, I find it dreadful!

I will only be working on this one, and not on my other stories. I may also be writing a new bleach one, but don't hold me to that. I have abandoned 'The ability to'. It is on hiatus indefinitely so I may write more but it is doubtful. I may rewrite but only after this one.

If anyone has a suggestions for things they would like to see in this story please leave a comment in a review.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story and my other ones as well.


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